Flickr user Oregon State University
Dorm rooms are small, so whether you’re sharing with a long-time friend or a stranger, adjusting can be challenging. However, if you and your roomie start the year with clear communication and expectations of each other, it can go smoothly.
During the first week of freshman year, a Resident Assistant (RA) might visit your room to discuss rules and help create a roommate agreement. However, don’t stop there. Schedule a time to sit down together and set expectations. It might be a bit awkward at first, but you’ll both appreciate it later. What should you cover? Here are some additional guidelines to discuss:
12 Good Roommate Ground Rules To Set:
1. Quiet Hours
Agree on a time when noise should be kept to a minimum. Lots of students agree on quiet hours during study or sleep times. You want to be respectful of each other’s peace and quiet.
Questions to Discuss:
- What are your preferred quiet hours for studying and sleeping?
- Are there any exceptions to quiet time, such as during special events or holidays?
Example Rule: Noise should be kept to a minimum between [start time] and [end time] during weekdays and [start time] and [end time] on weekends.
2. Room Temperature
Surprisingly, this can be a topic that is forgotten about until you wake up sweating one night, realizing your roommate prefers desert life. Discuss this early on to find a middle ground for the thermostat. You can always bring a fan or space heater.
Questions to Discuss:
- Do you prefer to keep windows open or closed?
- Are there any specific times when you need the temperature to be at a certain level (e.g., during sleep)?
Rule: A common thermostat setting will be decided upon. We will aim to keep the room temperature between [minimum] and [maximum] degrees, with the thermostat set to [X] at night.
3. What Is Shared Food and What Isn’t
Chances are, you might like some of the same snacks as your roommate. To avoid confusion, make sure you label your food and personal items. You can also use this time to determine which items (cooking spray, cooking utensils, cleaning supplies) will be shared and how they will be replenished.
Questions to Discuss:
- Are you interested in sharing meals or cooking together?
- Are there any specific items you’d like to keep separate?
- Do you have any allergies I should know about?
Example Rule: [List of items] will be considered shared. [List of items] will be considered personal.
4. When Friends Can Come Over/Sleep Over
Got a friend coming over? Let your roommate know. This is their personal space too and they might not want to be surprised to find three people over after a long day of classes.
Questions to Discuss:
- What are your thoughts on guests staying overnight?
- Are there any specific times or days when you’d prefer not to have visitors?
- What are your expectations for guests in terms of behavior and cleanliness?
Example Rule: Guests are welcome to visit during reasonable hours. Overnight guests should be approved in advance.
5. Room Cleanliness and Chores
A room less than 250 square feet can look messy even if it’s not. Talk to your roomie and decide how and when to clean your room, as well as who will handle what chores.
Questions to Discuss:
- How often do you think we should clean the room?
- Are there any specific cleaning tasks you’d prefer or prefer not to handle?
Example Rule: The room will be cleaned [frequency] and chores will be divided as follows: [list of chores].
6. Who’s Bringing What
You definitely don’t need two futons or two mini-fridges, so discussing who is bringing what in advance can save you a headache. Decide who will bring certain items to the room and try to keep it even.
Questions to Discuss:
- What essential items are you planning to bring to the room?
- Is there anything you have been wanting to contribute to the room?
- Are there any items we want to split the cost of? (i.e. rug, floor lamp, futon)
Example Rule: [List of items] will be brought by [person].
7. Borrowing Etiquette
Always ask before you borrow something and if you break it, confess and replace it.
Questions to Discuss:
- Are there any items you prefer I not borrow?
- What items are you okay sharing? (For example, coffee creamer, Bluetooth speaker, throw blankets.)
Example Rule: Items should be borrowed with permission and returned in good condition.
8. Personal Space Boundaries
Living in a small space means boundaries are even more important. Respect each other’s boundaries and privacy, especially when it comes to personal belongings and conversations.
Questions to Discuss:
- Are there any areas of the room that you consider “off-limits”? (i.e. drawers, closet)
- What areas do you consider your personal space? (i.e. bed, desk)
Example Rule: Knock before entering each other’s room, especially if the door is closed. Respect each other’s belongings.
9. Establish Communication Protocol When There’s a Problem
If something’s bothering you, talk it out. Don’t let small issues turn into big problems. Discuss ways to resolve conflicts peacefully and understand each other’s perspectives.
Questions to Discuss:
- How do you prefer to address conflicts or disagreements?
Example Rule: If there’s an issue, we will address it directly and calmly.
10. Room Security
It’s important that you both feel safe in your room. Make sure that you discuss safety protocols, such as locking the door when leaving and before bed, as well as who you are sharing your dorm room location with.
Questions to Discuss:
- Do you have any specific security concerns?
- How will we secure valuable items like laptops, jewelry, or cash?
Example Rule: We will both be responsible for securing the room when we leave and we will keep valuables in a secure location.
11. Alarm Clock Settings
You might have an 8:00 am class every day while your roommate doesn’t have to be anywhere until 11:00. However, using an alarm is inevitable, you just need to communicate clearly about it. Coordinate alarm clock settings to avoid waking each other up at inconvenient times.
Questions to Discuss:
- How sensitive are you to noise when you’re sleeping?
- Do you prefer a gentle alarm or a loud one?
- Are you a fan of the snooze button, or do you prefer a more abrupt wake-up call?
Example Rule: Let’s coordinate our alarm clock times to avoid waking each other up at inconvenient hours. We can use a quiet alarm or vibration mode if necessary.
12. Acceptable and Unacceptable Behavior
You want to create a space that is positive and comfortable to live in! Talk through negative behaviors that you will both try to avoid. This could be leaving dirty laundry lying around, playing loud music during quiet hours, bringing over guests unannounced, or using offensive language.
Questions to Discuss:
- How can we ensure that we communicate with each other respectfully, even when we disagree?
- What behaviors do you consider unacceptable in a shared living space?
Example Rule: Let’s agree on some basic rules of respect and consideration for each other. We should treat each other with kindness and avoid any actions that might make the other person feel uncomfortable or disrespected.
This is just a starting list, of course, and you may find that there are plenty of other living arrangement rules that you can go over with your new roommate. The most important thing is to communicate often with your roommate so that everyone knows what is expected at all times. Happy dorm living!
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